The Festive Diary Of A Pissed Off Diva
by Stephy69
Summary: Christmas Diary Of Lita After She Is Forced To Spend Christmas With Nine Other Superstars.Characters : Lita, Rated Rko, Dx, Ariel, Torrie, Victoria, Mickie & Cena. Edited.
1. Chapter 1

Little Note Here : I AM Trying With The Other Stories But Yah Know, Tbh, I'm Finding It Hard, With It Almost Being Christmas And Stuff. And Myspace. What Can I Say, I'm Easily Distracted By That. But Chyea. Anyways, I Read My Friends Diary, SHE LET ME Because She Realised How Much She Rambled In It And I Figured It Would Be Cool To Do A Diary Format Of A Story And NATURALLY It Had To Be Lita's.

READ.

Another Note : Lita Never Left WWE. Got It ? Umm….Mickie's Been There For Like…Three Years. Everyone Is Friends. Storylines Aint Real. Yeah. That's All. More May Arise Though SO Keep Yah Eyes Peeled

Disclaimer : I Don't OWN Anyone. I Borrow. If I Owned Orton You Really Think I'd Be Writing This ?

Pairings : Litax? (Either Hunter Or Randy. I Know Who I WANT To Do, But Hunter Juss Keeps Screaming Pick Me) ShawnxVictoria TorriexCarlito (Who Wont Actually Be IN The Story) MickiexJohn AdamxSurprise ) And NO Its Not Ariel.

December 11th.

OhMyGod. Only One Entry Today. That Would Be Because Old McMahon Dropped Like, The Biggest Bombshell In WWE History. Tomorrow Morning, I Go To Live With Nine Other Superstars In Some Fantasy House Thing. We Then Spend The Next Two Weeks There. I Don't Get To See My Family Until Boxing Day. That Is So Fucked Up. I Don't Even Know Who Else Is Going. I Gotta Go Pack So I Don't Even Have Enough Time To Call Them. I Gotta Feeling Micks'll Be There. Should Be Fun. Not. And I Swear To GOD, If Cena Makes A Hoe, Hoe, Hoe Joke. I'll Kick Him So Hard In The Balls That They Will Lodge Themselves Inside Him.  
Ames x

December 12th 2006

8.am : Packed And Ready To Go. I Called Around Last Night After I Packed. I Know Who's Gunna Be Here. Adam (Thankfully SOMEONE Sane), Randy (Not The Brightest Button In The Box, But He Means Well), John (Someone Shoot Me), Hunter (Who Was Having Great Difficulty Fitting Two Sledgehammers "To Shut John Up" In His Suitcase) and Shawn (Who Is Now Taking One Of Hunters Sledgehammers), Mickie (Again, Not The Brightest But She's My Best Friend, I Have To Put Up With Her), Victoria ( Someone RATIONAL. Thank God), Torrie (Who Was Upset About Leaving Chloe) and Shelly (Don't Really Know Her. So Let The Fun Begin). Adam Promised He'd Pick Me Up So I'm Standing Outside My Apartment, My Jacket Blowing Around In The Wind, Hair Everywhere And My Suitcase Falling Over Every Five Seconds. He Better Hurry Up Or I'll Tell Everyone About His E & C Days.

9.am : I'm Currently Hiding In The Bathroom. So Far, Well Considering I've Only Been Here For Half An Hour But Whatever, So Far Hasn't Been Too Bad. John Was Late, But That's A Given. Hunter And Shawn Were Unbelievably Awake And Cheerful. Adam Keeps Saying "I've Forgotten Something" Which Is Irritating Us All And Randy Has Been Unusually Quiet. Must Be Too Early For Him. Us Girls Have Been Ok So Far. We Went To Our Rooms (I'm Sharing With Micks And Vicky. Apparently Shelly And Torrie Know Each Other So They Should Get Along Just Fine) Settled Our Stuff On The Beds And Went To Sit In The Living Room.  
The Guys Arent Doing Too Good Though. Apparently, Hunter THOUGHT It Would Have Been Easier If Randy And John Weren't In The Same Room. But Those Two Don't MIND The Fact That They Argue Constantly. And Adam Decided He Couldn't Share With Shawn. Hunter Didn't Want John. But Randy Didn't Want To Share With Hunter. So All They Did Was Complain Til I Heard Someone, And I Aint Sure Whether It Was Shawn Or Randy Yell, "Fuck This. I'm Sleeping In The Shower"  
Vicky Had To Sort Them Out. So Now Its Adam, Randy And John (Though God Knows How Long Adam'll Last) Sharing And Hunter And Shawn IN The Other Room.  
This Is Going To Be SOME Christmas. And Now Someone Is Banging On The Toilet Door. John Needs To Go. So, Chyea, I'll See Yah Later

3.pm : Yah Know, No One Really Ever Gives People Credit For The Things They're Good At. I Mean Everyone Praises John's Wrestling. That's Cause They Ain't Tasted His Cooking. The Guy Has A Talent. A Talent He doesn't Enjoy Sharing But A Talent All The Same.  
He Made Breakfast For Us, After Randy Announced That John Used To Cook All The Time When They Were In OVW. John Went Red And Started Telling Some Lame Assed, But Believable All The Same, Story About How Randy Was Always Too Lazy To Cook So He HAD To. Mickie Decided We Were All Lazy Too So He, Once Again HAD To.  
Took Him Til Half Past One, But He Finally Made Ten Breakfasts. Well, Seven And A Half. Torrie Wouldn't Eat Cause She Felt Sick, Ariel Was Sleeping And Hunter Accused John Of Trying To Poison Him Wouldn't Eat Anything. So Shawn Ate Half Of Hunter's As Well As His Own.  
Well I Gotta Go Clean Up. Me And Adam Agreed That If We NEVER Have To Cook, We'll Do Washing Up EVERY Breakfast Time.  
So I Guess You'll Get An Update In A While x

4.30.pm : You Learn Stuff About People All The Time. Like, For The Past Half An Hour Me And Randy Sat Watching Tv, Some Lame Quiz Show. And, For A Guy You Would Expect To Be A Complete Idiot, He's INCREDIBLY Intelligent. I Mean, I Don't Know Him All That Well, I Guess Since He Came Back After The Suspension I've Spent More Time With Him Cause Of The Whole Rated RKO Storyline But, Damn I Always Thought He Was Dyslexic Or Something. Maybe Its Cause He Never Writes Anything. He Once Asked Trish To Write His Mom's Birthday Card For Him. That Always Confused Me Cause I Mean, Wouldn't She Know Her Own Son's Handwriting ? Maybe Not I Guess, If He's Never Written Anything For Her.  
But Anyways, Apparently He's Really Smart. Like, Makes VICKY Look Dumb And That Is Saying Something Cause That Girl Is Like, Matilda. You Know When She Does All That Math Stuff In Her Head Faster Than Anyone Else ? Yeah That's Vicky. But Anyways Where Was I ? Oh Yeah. Learning New Stuff. But That's Not All I Learned About Him In Those Thirty Minutes. And, This REALLY Shocked Me, Bob Orton ISNT Randy's Real Dad. He Doesn't Know Who Is. But It's Not Him. And They've ALWAYS Known.  
I Guess, I Mean, They Don't Look Alike Or Anything And He Don't Look Like His Brother And Sister. But I Was Actually Shocked By That. He Doesn't Care Though. He Calls Bob "Dad" Though Out Of Habit From When He Was A Kid. I Felt Really Bad After Talking To Him. Like I Said, I Always Thought He Was Thick. Turns Out He Was Juss Kinda Shy. Yeah, I Know, Orton ? Shy ? Those Words Don't Go Together. But He Said Something Earlier That Kinda Hit Me, "I Don't Actually HAVE Many Friends In The WWE. Cause Everyone Seems To Hate Me Without Getting To Know Me. Maybe That's Why I Talk To You And Adam So Much Now. Cause Be Honest Amy, You Couldn't Give A Fuck What I Was Like. You Talk To Anyone. But Yah The Only Diva That's Ever Spoke To Me Without Wanting To Sleep With Me"  
John Heard The Last Line And Told The Whole House I Had Just Propositioned Orton. So, Now, I'm Gunna Go Hit Him Across The Face With Something, Maybe Hunter's Sledgehammer ?  
What A Festive House This Is.  
Later x 


	2. Chapter 2

Heyyy. Well I Wanna Say Thank You For The Reviews. But Uh I Don't Think There WAS Any Spelling Mistakes. I Use pretty Colloquial Terms So That Might Be Why The Spelling Looks Weird. Sorry. I'll Try Not To. And Grammar / Punctuation ? It Ish A Diary Do YOU Use Punctuation And Shit ? -laughs-  
Any Ways THANK You For The Constructive Criticism. Shall Take It Into Consideration For This Chapter. Or I Shall Try )  
Ooooh And One Other Thing In Case It Annoys Anyone. EVERY Word Starts With A Capital Letter. I Cant Help It. Too Much Time On Msn And No Administration Lessons You See.  
Btw, Just So You Know, The Whole DREAM Thing, You Wont Ever Hear About It. Its Just, In The Diary I Read It Said, "I Had Like The Weirdest Dream Ever. Sex With Triple H And Edge. Was Good I Think. Well, From What I Could Hear" No Word Of A Lie. That Was The Girls Exact Words. And She Never Mentioned It Again

But yeahh…Here We Go :

9.pm. : Damn. It Feels Like I Ain't Written In Here In A While. Even Though It Was Only…I Can Barely Read My Own Writing Here, But I THINK It Says Four Thirty. I Could Be Wrong Mind You, Probably Am.  
I Have Never Felt So Tired In My Life, And The Strangest Thing Is, I Don't Think I've Ever Done As Little As I Have Today. I Mean Sure, Moving In Was A Bit Of An Ordeal But Asides From That I Don't Think I Have Actually Done Anything.  
Tonight, All Ten Of Us Sat Around The Dining Table Eating Dinner (Which Mickie Kindly Made For Us) And Discussed Cooking And Cleaning Jobs. Yeah, Surprising Really, That Shawn Michaels Is Possibly The Most Organized Man On God's Green Earth. He Had Brought A Pad Of Paper And A Pen With Him To Make TIMETABLES. They Wanted To Use This To Do The Timetables In And I Almost Had A Fit. I Mean Can You IMAGINE Adam Reading This, And Finding I Know All About Him And His "Secret Lover" Or Worse, What If Randy Or John Read It And Read About That Dream….God I'm Starting To Scare Myself Now.  
But, Where Was I, Oh Yeah. He Made Like Little Timetable Things That Told Us Who Does What And When. I Don't EVER Have To Cook Thanks To Mine And Adam's Little Plan. I Don't Think The Way Shawn Did The Dividing Chores Up Was Fair Though. He Was Like, "Cooking? That's John And The Girls Except Amy, Who Is Being Stubborn." So Not ONE Guy Except John Has To Cook. Which I Suppose Is A Good Thing, After Adam Blew Up My Microwave. Then Shawn Decided Cleaning Duties Would Be Next On The Agenda. Adam And Randy Are Doing Like NINETY Percent Of The,. I Have To Clean In The Mornings But, Chyeah Like That'll Happen. And Then Him And Hunter Have "Supervising Duties." Which Means We Work Our Asses Off And They Sit Back And Relax. I Guess There's Not Much We Can Do About It, Cause The Girls Agreed Straight Away Without Realizing "DX" Are Doing Nothing.

2.30am : Yeah, I'm Writing This At Half Past Two In The Morning. But It's Cause, Well, I'm SO Happy. I Went To See Hunter About The Whole, Unfair Timetable Thing. And He Was Sitting On His Bed. No One Actually KNEW Where Shawn Was So It Was Just Me And Him. And Anyways, I Went In And I Said "Look I Don't Think Shawn's Timetables Were Fair Cause Randy And Adam Have All The Work"

And Hunter Cut Me Off Saying, "You Like Him Don't You?" So I Was Kinda Confused, Cause Well, Adam's My Friend And All, But I'd Never DATE Him. That Would Be As Romantic As Making Out With My Dog. And I Didn't Think He Was Talking About Randy So I Looked Kinda Dumb And Just Made A Shrugging Gesture.  
And THAT's When Things Got Good. My Hand Is Actually Shaking. Hunter Said, "He Like's You Too. But I Don't Think He Deserves You. To Be Honest I Don't Think ANYONE's Good Enough For You. I'd Like To Give It A Damn Good Try, But I Don't Even Think I Am. But Specially Not Him."

Well Naturally I Was All A Bit Confused Because I Still Didn't Know Who HE Was And I Had Kinda Realized Hunter Had Just Told Me He Liked Me. So I Started To Get Embarrassed, My Cheeks Felt SO Hot And I Bet If I Had Looked In A Mirror, My Hair And Cheeks Would Have Blended Together. And THAT Is When Things Got REALLY Connfusing. I Told Hunter I Had Said What I Wanted To And That I Was Gunna Go Back To My Room. And He Stood Up, Kissed My Cheek And Whispered, "Just Don't Let Orton Near You."

So OH MY GOD. I Have Not Got A CLUE What's Going On. Hunter Has Misinterpreted Everything And Think's Randy LIKES Me. I Think HUNTER Likes Me. And Not Randy. But If Hunter Likes Me, Why Does He Always Flirt With Torrie. I Don't Know If I've Ever Mentioned This, But That's Why Carlito Doesn't Like Him. He Thinks Hunter Actually WANTS To Sleep With Torrie.

Speakign Of Torrie, She's Been Sick All Day. I Wonder What's Wrong. She Better Not Have The Flu Cause I REALLY Don't Wanna Spend The Next Two Weeks With Nine Whining Superstars Complaining About Their Aches And Pains.

I'm Procrastinating Again. Diverting Myself From The Story. Maybe It's Lack Of Sleep. Yeah, I Think It Might Be. So I'mma Go To Bed And Start A Fresh Tomorrow. No Talking To Hunter, Cause He Confuses Me. I Might Ask Adam About Randy Cause That Just DOESN'T Work With Me.

Randy ? And Me ? Eeew No Thanks. Like I've Said, Nice Enough Guy BUT He IS A Bit Of A Man Whore. So, Anyways GoodNight Ames x 


End file.
